:Monday, July 30, 2007:

I don't know why these days I let my feelings take over me,
controlling everything I do. Now after everything is over, I
want to feel free. I want to let the emotions in me rest.
And thanks to the sleepless nights. I flew myself to St. James
for Surf Surf Revolution yesterday.

And I did what I wanted. Let myself free. George Leong's
genre of music took my feelings and myself away. And I
felt like I didn't want the night to end already. Its been 2
months since I've even club.

Then I let myself go wasted yesterday cause I wanted to.
Finally, I felt satisfied again. heh.


And this is Aly again after we cammed. heh

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 2:46 PM| |

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:Saturday, July 28, 2007:

I had a bad day at school yesterday. I want to thank Calli for
asking me out yesterday and that sure brighten my day loads
sitting at Spinelli's watching *****.
(its 5 letters, and its a name). heh.

I got home and I felt so lethargic. Aly popped online and as
promised to my pretty girl, we cammed whore like fuck for
2 over hours on msn and skype. We were talking via Video
call for 2 over hours till 2plus in the morning. heh.

And that really made my day worth everything. I missed my
pretty girl.

The girl even had to make her hair just talking to me on web cam.
HAHA, the number of times the 2 of us kept commenting that we
look super fugly without hair and makeup done.

AND we had our little SHOW & TELL session online! HEH
That girl even waved her Balenciaga bag at me and I threw her
my Gucci. =)



WTF i look like a nun laa.




I loved aly's last picture. HAHAHAHA

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:23 AM| |

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:Friday, July 27, 2007:

I've been busy.

I feel so disorientated cause of the things
that has been going on around me.

I feel to enjoy myself but how?

Should I attempt to club at St.James on
Sunday again?


Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:22 PM| |

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:Wednesday, July 18, 2007:

I'm not really in the mood to talk much. After all, I wasted
my time on my projects just to get hounded by a girl.
I took a puff yesterday on my window porch at 3+ in the
morning after trying to complete my project, and after
everything happened.

I cried. I fucking cried. After all that has happened around
me and to me, with troubled thoughts that kept running
through my mind, I dare not talk to anyone about it anymore.
I want to quit school, and leave to a faraway place.

With "run" by snow patrol on my itunes, the quietness of
the night really proves how lonely I am. Everyone's peacefully
asleep. The silent cold night wind blew and my tears fell just
like heavy droplets from the heart.

The people around me, some cloaked with jealousy just out
there ready to strike me down when I am weakest. If you're
not insincere, please stop benji-ing me around. It doesn't help
cause I'm not the one bring you to what you want to become off.
Just ditch me and ditch your conquest. Cause I know you used
my name in vain yet again.

Benji


| Stripped and Lusted 9:58 AM| |

__________

:Monday, July 16, 2007:

I feel like shit. Like that's supposed to make me feel
any better not replying my sms-es.
Thank you.

I had the song "I'll be" by the GooGoo Dolls playing on my ipod the whole
way home. I feel like shit. I feel like shit.
Benji = shit.

The lyrics still runs line to line in my mind.
aye.

Shit to you Benji.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:44 PM| |

__________

:Friday, July 13, 2007:

At this point of time, I want to know no more.

For I know too much. It's hurting.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 1:13 AM| |

__________

:Wednesday, July 11, 2007:

I was in a cab on the way home today and I had this
little chat with the driver about Singapore's living
standard versus Singapore's earning standard. And I've
never realized that I could learn so much from the
old man. Money isn't going around well enough for
some people. But well, I've more moody matters
to attend before I kill myself with thoughts rushing
through my mind like a bullet train.

I feel lost. Lost at words, lost at the things that I am
doing. Nobody said it was easy, no one said it will be
this hard either.

I was just guessing at thoughts and messages, pulling
the puzzles part. The feeling of running in circles and
chasing tails, past hauntings coming back to the start,
a rush to get out of a situation but you can't, cause
you're feeling a thousand aunties carrying gucci and
prada throwing invisible daggers at you, piercing hard
with each strike. Getting no where trying to breathe
again cause you can't run.

"Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart"

For everything that is real, it will be too late.
I'll be going back to the start. Cause nobody said it was easy,
no one said it will be
this hard either.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:28 AM| |

__________

:Monday, July 09, 2007:

I have always dream of a faraway place. Where crowds
will cheer with a warming welcome for in a hero's place.
In a thousand years, it will be worth the wait cause I
want my journey to be the king. The king of myself and
my dreams.

But

My star isn't the shiny diamond it used to be. Dirtied
with the ugliness from within with the addition of bad
blood and rich evil. I should just rot and die within the
burning flares of the sun.

Everyday is an uphill climb. I feel tired and exhausted as
days go by with each step and breath I take. Steeper with
life's obstacles just in front of me. But for every minute of
this life I am breathing, until there's nothing in this
world I can believe in, as long as there's a single part of you
that means me.

I'll continue climbing. I will go the distance. Climbing just
hoping that my hero's welcome will be waiting in your arms.

Benji


| Stripped and Lusted 11:24 AM| |

__________

:Sunday, July 08, 2007:

Benji is moody.
Aye,

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 4:59 PM| |

__________

:Thursday, July 05, 2007:

My mood's all messed up. I feel so messed up. Everything
that I have done for, means so little. So little in a way it
made me realize how much I hate you. I hate you.
My heart's sinking and my tears falling. There's no point
in explaining anything. You're not worth my precious time.

I want to sit alone and stare at the sky, counting the stars
while drowning booze and taking my ciggies. I hate everything
that is going around me. Sometimes, I just sit and wonder
what the fuck am I doing. Sit and think to myself who am
I? Cause the time has come when I look at myself in the
mirror but the only thing that is wrong, is that the reflection in
it isn't me.

No one else will know these lonely dreams, no one else will
know that part of me. I'll sit alone forever to wait for the right
time. Then I'll prolly disappear into the night's fading light.
shit you emo benji.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:06 PM| |

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