:Wednesday, November 30, 2005:

:: mood swings ::

it aint that part of the month for me
*gawk!*
but well,
i guess its just having the ups and downs
whats the point of pon-ing class when you are already in school?
i guess that its just the worth of time wasting.

just that after all the relationships that has past,
my friends are placing bets on how long this one will last
if you ask me,
my answer would be i dont know.
i dont want the things that happened in the past to happen to me again.
i hate some of my ex.
i hated the things that they did.
doubting the things that i did which i did not.

just because i have AJ friends and i go out with them,
makes you think that i am a flirt?
well i guess that my friends are thinking the same way as you then,
i guess that i am a flirt
but what makes you think of me this way?
its just best to keep your comments to yourself.
it's just me.

horrors of the past i guess.
but well, went to funan and citylink today
gawk that new urban male has new clothles
but....*budget*
*sighs*
waiting to leave this place everyday.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:58 PM| |

__________

::

wild memories with a sudden rush.
mp3's playing mandy moore's crush
i hate my mind
i hate remembering the past
i hate my past
it isnt exactly pretty
i miss some people
they just can't seem to leave my life.
and now, i dont want them to leave.

I had to make a decision b4
and now i'm wondering whether i made the right choice
to leave silently,but in the end, i couldnt.
it came rushing back to me
i was prepared to let go,
i guess that after so long,
i am not.
i aint asking for alot.
i never asked for alot.

and i will never will
i did somethings in the past
both bad and good
all in my name
but what i didnt do was to talk back and backstabb
i want to run away from all my troubles.
i wish that i could tell somebody
but there's no one to talk to ,
nobody knows.

i cant talk to the closest person to you and the closest person to me.
thats making it all more difficult for me.
its getting worst
i'm not solving anything.
i'm just running away from everything.
i'm a failure.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:59 AM| |

__________

:Tuesday, November 29, 2005:

holiday moods
thats what everyone is into now,
having to think that i wont be seeing my poly friends.
ha ha..it will be sad la.
we so rawk each other now (except "some" of us)

nat's in a holiday mood that she finished class early today.
judging that there were so little pple in class today
we finished at 2.30.
1 hour of presentation, no quiz, no 6P.
woohoo~

dear was like msging me the whole day today
msn and sms
i'm loved lots
ha ha
watch harry potter again today
*groans*
making it like 3 times since it opened.
gawk!

went chill with aloy
wanted to watch movie but..
budget la
i'm going broke
a ha..
money is somewhat always a point in my life that i will need to bother abt.
aint that social butterfly i used to be.
ha ha ha

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 6:41 PM| |

__________

:Monday, November 28, 2005:

say hello to SExy.
daddy bought it for me.
you can go direct to the webbie and get it.

http://global.acer.com/products/notebook/as5500.htm

its just me!
i love my darling.
but the times when you keep asking me to reply you when i can't/
dear, i have school.
i cant be there 24/7 to reply you.
stop having the idea that i will run away from cha.
if you have this idea all the time and suspect that there is something wrong.
then i'm speechless.
well, trust is tested once again.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:50 PM| |

__________

:Sunday, November 27, 2005:

IT fair today was croweded.
ok, it was not as crowded as i expected by it was still crowded.
meet doreen and lydia..
ha ha..love disturbing sia..

spent like 4 hours there with dad.
walked and walked..
looked at lappys and crappy stuffs..
and finally joined the acer gang in class.
yup..i'm naming it SEXY.
just like what sean named his.
ha ha..

i'm using my sexy now..
upgraded to the my expectations.
ha...i guessed that this year has been the most expensive.
i'm not telling the price.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:45 PM| |

__________

:Friday, November 25, 2005:

:: go touch benji lor ::

desmond has been more than weird lately.
firstly he told me that i look "girlish"
then in the afternoon, he said that i look st8.
wtf?
keep your comments to yourself

then u showed me this guy whom u claimed that he is your stead.
then you touched me.
wtf?
i mean, being crook,
alot of pple that will be staring and getting opportunities go touch.
you touched me infront of the whole class leavin the faci to know also
its like the whole class know abt what you did la.
you made me go red in class.
-.-ll

you know that i am attached but you still did that.
out of the five days in school,
you have to be in the same team as me for 3 days!
gawk u all!
whats going to happen next.
i guess that i have to hide behind the backs of my classmates now.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:15 PM| |

__________

:Thursday, November 24, 2005:

"who lives in the pineapple under the sea"

ok, i know that i was bad to my darling so far.
but hmmm..
-.-
i dont know la!
arghhHHH!!

today was the weirdest day so far
and i predict its going to get worst
firstly, the outcastS of the class PB0107 has spoken to me.
notice i emphasize the "S"
becoz there were 2!

leaving their names out for the obvious reasons
one happened to be a gay and the other was just plain sissy.
gawk ahh!!
i'm under attack!
i love siying but siying loves emily..
wahahah!
we are so0 going bonkers!

i did work today.
surprisingly. jialing was so thankful that i did work..ha ha..
so she can carry on with her minesweeper game which was SOO0 yesterday.
*opps*
the weather in the morning was so rainy and misty.
i did work and jacy aka cheetha said that singapore will start snowing
but for a turn, after i did work,
angels sang praises and it shines!
*shocked*
bitch.

firstly, he said that i was abit soft.
GAWK YALL!!!
then he said that i look st8
and asked whether i was sure of my sexuality.
GAWK YALLL!!!!
whats wrong with his mind?

ok, nat goh gave my team comments on the "2 way projector thingy?"
remember?
ya?
good.
this is part of what she mentioned in the team comments.

"But the 2-way projector is a mental nightmare, unless we are talking about a large space such as a stadium where eye contact is not important.In that case, there should be several big screens. So, all ideas are appreciated but they need to be argued well and if the team cannot agree than members need to learn to adjust and compromise."

SHE GAVE ME A BLOODY "D" FOR MY GRADE!
BITCH
its also not my fault!
*groans*

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:48 PM| |

__________

:Wednesday, November 23, 2005:

woke up to a chilly morning
checked my fone,
gawk!
how can you msg me so many times.
cant you let your boyfriend slpe in peace and bother him the next day again.
shit you.

http://www.stevenlim.net/SingaporeIdolStevenLimWeb.wmv
watch the clip
Warning:
bearly naked man ahead
watch at own discretion.
to me, its a major turn off.
fat lard...approach me and i'll pluck all his hair off.
*ALL HIS HAIR OFF*

how can the government allow pple like him to disgrace us Singaporeans?
seriously looks like a freak that ran out of some asylum.
mad man on the loose.
put a leash on that queer will you!

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:59 AM| |

__________

:Tuesday, November 22, 2005:

:: 2 way projector ::

i happened to work with desmond in class today AGAIN.
beware
he is down right weird to the core
how can he suggust a "2 way projector" for class presentations?
imgaine this scene in a classroom.

students sitting at the back can't see the front of the class,
therefore, the purpose of this "2 way projector" is to project the same slide on the back of the class so that the students at the back of the class can see.
gawk! where is his brain?
there will be no respect for the faci when he/she is presenting in class,
and having those students whom cannot see have their backs facing he/her in order to view the slides at the back of the class from the "2 way projector"
gawk!!!
if they cannot see, then bloody move to the front of the class you nimrodic fimblehead!

gawk!!!
where will be the eye contact with the faci and the students?
use your brains!
o, i forgot. desmond is dumb. and dumb pple don't have brain.
so, desmond, please find your bloody brain and stop acting that you are correct all the time.
he practically throws MY sensible ideas out the bloody windows 40 stories down!

geniuses would have made this "2 way projector" if it did work from the beginning.
the point is, IT DOESN'T WORK!
FACE THE FACT AND STOP LIVING LIFE IN DENIAL.
i think what you need is not a "2 way projector"
its a "2 way brain".

please read xiaxue's blog at:
http://xiaxue.blogspot.com

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:49 PM| |

__________

:Monday, November 21, 2005:

i've got a friend
who lost her ipod today.
as there were very few people left in class today
we helped her by turning the class upside down.
still no ipod.

it doesnt help saying who took the ipod,
because it clearly shows that someone did take it.
either by lust, jealousy or greed.
its not safe anymore.
leaving things lying around the place,
esp a class where all of us study.
it has got to be someone from the class.

looking at how my classmates and i console her and helped look for her ipod
of course still coming to a fruitless find.
it shows how much people care and bond together within a month
it just leaves me thinking about my group of friends,
do i treasure them as much as i trust my poly friends?
about my relationships
it just shows that these kinda things can't be rushed into.

caught harry potter GOF today
its nice. great effects and detail,
but dont expect everything to go with the book.
whats the purpose of watching everything thats in the book?
its good enough that at least most of the details are out there in the film.
although xiaxue may different,
come on, give the director a break for having done the film by JK Rowling.
i was brilliant and well,
although i am a potter fan with the words "harry 4ever" written in lime juice all over my forehead
the film was good
it was not a failure
or at least, it made ppl cry in the cinema when dear cedric was killed by the "Avada Kadava" curse
ha ha
watch it.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:07 PM| |

__________

:Saturday, November 19, 2005:

stuffs to do when i am bored.
(1). sit and watch tv all day long
(2). play board games!
(3). play mahjong!

yup, thats what i did today..
mahjong all day long
won won won!
wooho0, has to be music
been loving ma music all day long
gawk..

got to find job!!
agHHGG!

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:58 PM| |

__________

::

musics changed
the feeling of blasting music into my ears can be so0 contenting.
i feel so high after doing.
sissy musics.
black eyes peas! wooho0,
missy helping me get my freak on

at least i know it helps me get things off my mind.
my hump my hump..
gawk...i wonder why people say i have changed.
music changed me?
i guess not

i hate relationships.
it shucks.. -.-
been thinking of stuffs to get in bangkok.
i know i need to get a tan along the beaches of huayin!
been doing my chrunches..
b4 i go to bangkok..
sis is leaving next sat..
darn..

its a good time to get away from everything..
all the troubles and problems.
leave my mind behind enjoy myself i guess
was talking to my peeps yesterday night
well, staying single?
i dont know..
how can anyone claim that they are single and unavalible?
dont be nuts la..
you are either attracted to the opposite sex, or to the same sex.
its that simple.
gawk!

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 4:55 PM| |

__________

:Friday, November 18, 2005:

went to class did nothing and came home halfway.
whats happening to me?
the mood affected by my relationships?
i dont know.
ppl who keep taking and taking,
you cant expect your boyfriend to keep giving into you.
when the times i explains things to you,
you refuse to hear?

its not that i dont want to reply yr msges or calls.
i have things to do. i am not ignoring you.
why would i do that?
you loved me too much to be so darn demanding?protective?
wtf!
i'm out of my minds already.
you are driving me nuts.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:20 PM| |

__________

:Thursday, November 17, 2005:

went mother and godmother in town today.
well, i guessed that i had my mood swings again
and it was a total piss off.
...
they went to this korean store and bought like almost all the beef in stock.
not to be religious or anything, but the bill totally sux.
i hated the number on the bill.
it was : $ 66.60
if you get what i mean.
what a crappy shit coindience.

went to collect my luagge just now at paragon and god,
its huge. 30 feet luagge..ha ha..
i can use that when i travel to the states.
now, i'm looking forward to the end of year trip.
went grams after everything was done and chilled with my cousin.
his Os are ending tmr.
fast hur...
mine ended almost close to 30th and his is just 18th!
wtf!
enjoy so early.

wells, harry potter is on monday.
monday! gawk pple!
ha ha... stop calling me boy boy!
arghhhh!!
ha ha..i have to admit, it sounds cute,
but over doing it is really weird.
fullstop.ha ha

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:59 PM| |

__________

:Wednesday, November 16, 2005:

thank-you-bye-see-you-again
ha ha..
i spent half my day laughing at nonsense and the other half
slacking in class doing now.
bad boy..
-.-

went to cut my hair yesterday at far east
ha ha..lydia brought me there
doreen and lyd stead came along...
sighs..
i was humiliated lar!
ha ha..
well, many people say that my hair look damn boy boy now lar!
-.-lll
ha ha ha

i seriously do not know what to do with myself already
hols are round the corner
and i am already in the mood for it.
godfather ask me to take the subway to the airport and be there by 3pm as my flight is at 5pm.
wtf, the subway??
my luagges are going to be with him.
i am not going to pull my luagges all the way from home to the train,
up the train and down again to the airport.
so ma lu.

going to watch harry potter.
yes, HARRY POTTER.
on monday -.-
anyone wanna come?
got jio by my friends le.
at least i am not going out with PS0102 peeps.
i dont want to see pple that are uncivilised.esp slutty whore-wannabe bitches.

guess that i am going to be leaving school early tmr.
will be going down town.
spott me if ya can
ha ha..
and yesh..
jacy, i remember the incident on the bus.
and to jessamine,
i'm not the one that has the words FUCKFACE written on my forehead.
its on yours u pig face.
why are you telling my friends to watch and becareful about me?
when you are the one that they shd be careful of?
hmmm...somehow, i pity you for not having a good set of friends to depend on.
that makes me, different from you.

i once thought that you couldnt fall any lower.
but now,
you proved me wrong.
somehow, u fallen lower,
by simply degrading yourself even more.
enough said.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:52 PM| |

__________

:Tuesday, November 15, 2005:

look at zizi's face! ( the middle one )
isnt she sweet? i just adopted her from MINDS yesterday!
well many things happened today,
which of course, dont concern any readers here accept the pple from my school.
chill at fareast twice today!

this year is the year where i countlessly visited LJS
which stands for
Lan JiaoS meat.
its Long Johns Sliver that is.
with the whole
hi-thank-you-see-you-again routine everytime we walk pass.
ha ha..
and of course, not forgetting how unglam is it to trip and fall while walking up the stairs or escalator. *ahem*

and that gay guy from my class.
well, fark off dude.
no one likes you, dont think highly of yourself.


know who she is?
familiar to you?
thats debra teng.
she came to class to see how we had our lessons and presentations done.
3rd meeting she came and boom!
i recongised her already..ha ha..
ian's project pilot crew.
well, rumour has it that she is going to be a facilitator in RP.
and yes.
she is as pretty as she is.
i mean.
SHE IS PREEEETTTY okay?
ha ha..
today's facilitation was like no other.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:33 PM| |

__________

:Monday, November 14, 2005:

the true colors of people are appearing already.
and so is mine.
i wont hide it anymore.
after all, i am who i am
i dont try to be someone else.
i wont be swayed.

a friend i have
his family found out about him being aj
started this whole bombastic rage on homosexuality
well, the thing that we all have to remember is that the world is still not open although they 'claim' to be.
there are still countless homophobic people out there.
all i can say is that,
max, you are who you are.
one is born this way. not made this way.
take it easy k.

on the way back from school,
there was this utterly disgusting old shaggy man that got up the bus.
omg, he was like sniffing his nose like some dog,
picking and digging this little gold mine which has 2 entrances on this face.
the movements of this fingers were like drilling and drilling deeper,
try desperately to get that piece of 25 carat gold out i guess.
o god. what a disgrace to chinese people.
i'm chinese btw, incase some numoronic flimbleheads want to sue me in court for passing racist comments.

after that he was like using his torn and utterly tattered shirt to dig his ears.
as in, each sleeve for each ear hole u get it?
it was either that he was in the mist of creating or collecting wax to make this candle for the coming christmas celebrations or that he was plain, GROSS.
after that, he got back to try excavating more gold,
and then stuffing his fingers back into that wax candle making factories he had on this face.

then he took out this piece of tissue that omg.
has been used probably a thousand times!
like the amount of yellowish green goo has crystalised making it CRISPY.
*pukes*
how disgusting can a LC person get?
omg, the world is not coming to a better place.
its not that youngsters like us dont want to help the elderly.
its that sometimes, we dont know what they do with their fingers or hands
and where they stuff them in.
god knows, the bottom hole too?

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:10 PM| |

__________

:Sunday, November 13, 2005:

woke up early this morning.
made my coffee like i always do.
sounds familiar?
ha ha..8th world wonder by Kimberly Locke.
its was a crapy sunday morning doing things that i have not been doing for so long.
watch cartoons!~
power rangers was so cool~
ha ha..

guessed that it was a family day only in the afternoon.
everyone was at my grams by lunch.
cant imagine how boring my sundays could have been,
attended sunset mass at church of st.iggy's
with friends.
didnt sit with choir today.
but the point is that i attended mass~
-.-
after so long..
ha ha

went to chill in town after mass
had dinner at cineleisure
and i found out something else.
about a pussybrain bitch named jessamine PC01-07.
well, offending a crook is worst than offending a st8.
fuck you fat daughter of a gigolo made with a prostitue
i wonder why you carry so much weight in your 2 floating devices in front from you.
can i burst them?
fat pple dont have good sex appeal.
you are no match to me.
eat it.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:50 AM| |

__________

:Saturday, November 12, 2005:

another saturday ruined
i will not spend another saturday waiting for people
i waited and waited,
in the end i was the one who had to make the call to you,
you were suppose to get back to me.
not me calling you.

i msged you, called you
hours later, i checked my phone.
no one, no soul.
look at the time now
8.30pm. i am still waiting.
if i were your friend, you would at least msg me back and tell me that you are not going to make it.
just a msg, too difficult?
your not lying in hostipal,
your at home.
you take me for granted

i could have made plans for the rest of my day.
all thanks to you,
i spend my day doing nothing but msn and waiting.
why am i waiting for you?
FUCK waiting already.
FUCK IT.
you said you wanted to meet.
you said that you were sick.
you said that you were going to get back to me.
you said that so many times.
dont say it anymore because you cant fucking keep one single agreement.

dont say things which you cant keep.
i'm not a dustbin for you to lean on when you need help.
i am a friend.
and now, i think twice.
i am not going to wait anymore.
i'm sick of waiting.
my saturday is ruined.
thanks.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:27 PM| |

__________

:Friday, November 11, 2005:

bad mood or no bad mood
i dont like pple showing me attitude
if they want to try attitude with me,
bring it on.
i was happy this morning
until i stepped into class
i didnt do anything
you have no right.

classes are getting longer
prof elvis says that we can walk out of class at 4 sharp regardless whether the lesson has ended.
i wonder how true are his words.
RP is so going to be rawkin soon.
ha ha..with students like us

i drown myself in music.
my ears suffer from rock music.
but i dont feel the pain,
music changed me too
i feel better after blasting music
i just that is something abt me that wont change.

people has letting me down lately
having to say that they wish the friendship will remain the same forever,
utter rubbish.
its only a 'say'
if i asked you whether you understand me or know me,
you dont.
i wonder how many more 'excuses' can you come up with
i aint buying anymore.

" Lord, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change those things I can, and the Wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I may have to kill because they piss me off."

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:42 PM| |

__________

:Thursday, November 10, 2005:

was in town today.
what a christmas light up
-.- to me, its nothing compared to last times,
i prefer the lights last time when i was younger.
used to remember that my friends from KL would travel all the way down to singapore just to see the decorations.
but is it worth it now?

this is to the girl,
who suffered so much to prove that angels and demons do exist.
emily, i believe on everything that you went through,
went the holy virgin mother asked to whether you wanted to follow her, away from the pain up to heaven,
or to stay and endure the pain and sufferings which will get worse but prove to the people that demons and the devil do exist,
i bow to your sacifice and you stayed,
immediately, u got the stigmata,
they say after one gets the stigmata,
he/she has been touched by god.
i believe that so.
its not 1 demon you had to fight it you.
it was 6 demons, including lucifer himself.
emily, you died proving something to the people.
and now, they believe.

incase you are wondering why there are missing links in my blog or that some blogs in my link don't work,
here is the reason.
there has been shitheads going ard tagging, shitting and spying on their blogs,
i have the links,
unless they know you, i will give the link.
other than that deal with the loneliness yourself.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:07 PM| |

__________

:Wednesday, November 09, 2005:

"OHHhhh!" exclaimed Benji.
As he looked at Emily's face.
As i reached into my right butt cheek pocket,
i pulled out my cellphone and
BOOM BOOM BOOM!!







please cry for me.
*sobs*

went town after school
*darns*
i should be doing that nowadays.
bad boy..
ha ha

As Benji turned around,
BOOM!!
his soul was captured by serene too suping
with her canon camcorder!




Serene did it again!
As Benji the purple Barney wannabe was pondering,
BOOM!! she snapped again.


thats a friendster band bonding 3 friends to stay together forever.
my baby dog.
i named it ralph.
ha ha..no lar..
its so fluffed-puffed



O, and the room of Benji,
looks like the Cds are falling off the shelve la..
going to move house soon,
all thses will be gone.

today's UT was crap.
i'm gonna fail this module.
its so darn difficult.
i hate excel spreadsheets.
*darns*
but its okays
was talking to christian on the phone for lik 3 hours la.
wtf!
i phone really BOOM already la

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:10 PM| |

__________

:Tuesday, November 08, 2005:

had my passport extended today
well, there were many 'kids' there
guessed that at least people are still going on holidays
the year is coming to an end already
thats fast, and coming to think of what i have been doing
first 3 months, then into poly till now

everything's passing so fast.
was at bugis this afternoon and went to christian's
he wanted me to go over,
wells, was in the area i guess
chilled for awhile
and was dead tired after school and all
he went to meet his parents for dinner
and i headed home.
thank god! i want to sleep

A111 and A112 module UT tmr.
guessed that i am not prepared for this module.
firstly, it downright suxs to the core.
i dont understand a thing of A111.
*craps*
got the lyrics for the Band Aid song,
gonna memorise it
christmas is coming
its time i returned to church

or thats what i think i should do.
should i?
as i said, christmas is coming
not sure what event will be coming up in church,
planning for christmas youth party for the kids?
not sure..hur hur

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:43 PM| |

__________

::

changed my blogskin.
a slient me, empty i guessed.
today's module for class was music culture.
one of the media files is Fly Away by Corrine May.
the amount of emotions she has in her songs,
just by listening to her,
makes me want to run away from all the troubles in me.

coming to think of it now,
i guess that i should be happy with what i have.
i won't consider family as one of them.
its more of my peeps.
coming to think of the time when i will be travelling overseas.
i guessed that i will be excited that i will be able to fly away.

will be zhao-ing class later.
godmother is coming to pick me up
gotta get my passport stuffs done for end of year.
kinda shits now after to extend it and stuffs.
i just did it before i went to korea,
now i have to do it again,
and in march, will have to do it again b4 flying to Auckland.

kinda leh-chey coming to think of it.
whats wrong with me in jeans?
more st8 looking?
-.- * ponders *
sorry for not replying msges on my cell,
not been in the mood to look at my phone lately.
everytime i put on my fossil watch, look at my phone,
open my wallet,
i sigh to myself.
just living my life in a screwed up environment.

everyone says that they will be there for me and
that they will do this or that.
i dont believe in empty promises and lies anymore.
i guess that the world will not become a better place anymore.
fairytales are left for the naive and small minded.
there are no happy endings anymore and i dont expect much.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:30 AM| |

__________

:Monday, November 07, 2005:

it hit me during dinner..
the thought of him came into my mind
why him again?
i want to stop these tortures
everytime he appears in me,
i feel so moodless, i feel disgusted and i feel hatred.
this is not supposed to be happening to me
its back again....

coming back to my blog song,
i love africa,
save the children there,
how fortunate we are here..
i want to go to africa..
its christmas, and what do they know about christmas?
there's not gonna be snow in africa for the children.
i found the web for the Band Aid 2o (2004)
http://www.bandaid20.com/

listen to the song and follow the lyrics,
its really awesome,
having to sing with a group like this,
" and there won't be snow in Africa this christmas time, the greatest gift they'll get this year is life "
" there's a world outside your window "
" and its a world of dread and fear"
" where the only water flowing"
" is the bitter sting of tears "
" and the christmas bells that are ringing, are the clanging chimes of doom "
" where nothing ever grows, or rain nor river flows "
" you ain't gonna feel guilt, just selfless, give a little help to the hopeless "


Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:32 PM| |

__________

::

alcohol alcohol alcohol.
i love alcohol.
fancy taking alcohol in the morning
drinking away all my troubles
i dont want to show it all out..
arghhhh... face red!!
*diao*

sighs...i dont want to think of the past anymore.
why do i keep saying that? let it all go..
definitely not the same me anymore.
i intend to spend my life outside, overseas,
and not come back here anymore.
i am willing to drop everything i have here now.
its not worth anymore

everyone's in the mood for christmas,
which explains my song.
its by the Band Aid 20 2004,
which raised funds for the children in africa.
it was sang by the pop stars in the UK,
U2, dido, sugababes, rachel stevens, elton john, busted, etc.

going to zhao out school later
going town for lunch..
not going to do much for class
my mood swings~
shit and thanks that i am in the same team as that dickhead.
god its gross.
and once again,
benji falls to his knees.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:30 AM| |

__________

:Sunday, November 06, 2005:

late late and more late.
whats happening to me nowdays..
there's school tmr and here i am, bloggin
goona be late for school again.

now i have felt that i have changed.
maybe its the people that i hang out with.
i dont know.
is it a good thing? or a bad thing?
it just leaves me wondering.
its a sunday,
not a very family day this week,
no one was at my grams.
everyone went out.

caught Doom today
its more of the resident evil kinda movie..
u know those:
kill-everything-as-it-must-not-reach-earth-and-if-it-reaches-earth-we-are-all-dead kinda movie.
went walk after that.
i dont like school uniform kids.
i dont like fat people.
i dont like aunties.
they should just get out of orchard.

went to hereen, walked,
and then stumbled upon NUM.
i think that new urban male has like new clothes..
gonna check out the tees
*looks at wallet*
sighs...
saw alot of msges on my phone,
didnt wanna reply them.

what shocked me tonight was that
mother wanted to watch a movie with her son on wednesday at 5pm!
she wants to go out with her son.
fancy asking her son to rush down to orchard after school to meet her for a movie..
woah!
thats new for a start
dont tell me that mother knows something about me now.
*groans*

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:15 PM| |

__________

:Saturday, November 05, 2005:

woke up this morning..
my eyes hurt real bad..
went downstairs this morning
and the first sentence shot to my face was!!
"benji, u want to come with us to auckland in march?" said my godmother
then i was thinking..

"duh? of course i want to go ma! like who doesnt?"
ha ha..guessed more things have been planned for me in my life.
everything in my life is so planned for me already,
well, except the part about my personal life and how i learn to better screw it up myself la.

whats this whole thing about backstabbing?
saying that your in my cliques or your not?
the whole your my friend or your not my friend anymore?
i didnt even know this thing exist in poly.
grow up. my god, its only a fail relationship due to trust.
again, trust. dont be kids anymore la.
there is no his cliques or her cliques.
u lead yr life and dont go saying that u dont belong here or there.

if i were u, i will squash my boobs,
eat them and fuck the hell off to lower hell.
those who ran to yr rescue?
are doing it out of pity or ignorance?
what a friend you are to say that.
once again, pple reveal more of themselves everyday,

your group as split because of the pple's childish and pathetic minds the size of peas
funny having a wolf in sheep's skin as my friend all the while.
this bitch will go down with me ard.
your so humongous and fancy u having eye candies,
i think that guys are just blind to fall for a living fat lard like you.
thinking of the sex appeal?
*rolls eyes*
omg gimme a break...

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:37 AM| |

__________

:Friday, November 04, 2005:

went PS after school today.
can say that we ended early today.
faci rawks today big time..
got the groove back lo~

was going to the bus stop went I met melissa foong!
ha ha...didnt want to speak to her,
but then, haiZ,
spoke to her in the end...
and she ended up asking me for directions..
diao -.-
wanted to watch a show after sch today
but we had to rush..
so...forget it.
tmr is godmother's birthday..
not sure what to get her still..

staying over at my grams today..
hope that i will be able to get some beauty slp,
unlike last night..
*craps*
the weekends are here,
not sure how to spent them anymores..
thanks to pple rushing me to update my blog
*jacy* hur hur hur
there is nothing left in my life to update pple..
kaoZ, get a paparazzi lar!

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:55 PM| |

__________

::

jacy is mad today..
she keeps dancing in class.
desmond isnt in sch today.
hu- rray!
we had a change of teams today
darn...
jacy in my team again..
ha ha..
well, its not a bad thing la.
she does everything ma..
-.-lll

*yawns*
slpy slpy benji's slpy
damn the rain this morning.
blardy cockscrew!
I couldnt slp the whole time
guessed that there is something on my mind..
tried closing my eyes, didnt work
everything i did,
didnt work and didnt slp.

not sure whether gng to watch emily rose later.
feeling kinda lazy now,
morning i guess,
but its a friday!
fridays are suppose to be happy days!

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:15 AM| |

__________

:Thursday, November 03, 2005:

coming to think of it.
there is nothing more that i can blog anymore.
i feel lonely on the inside now.
which makes my blog feel lonely too.
friends will tell me that i still have them and all.
but the closest person to me is still my dear.

as i once said, and now adding on to that.
things in my life are getting clearer and clearer.
which only makes me lonely.
will my right one be out there?
i dont want to be believing in empty promises.

i dont want to live my life in denial.
hur hur...
not really sure whether to go to school tmr.
suppose to extend my passport but then..
lazy i guess.
i dont have the zest in my life anymore!!
i wanna watch the excorism of emily rose..
anyone wanna watch with me?
scary la..i watched the trailer already..
ha ha...come come..
if we have to die together
then die together in the cinema lor..

i know that my peeps want me in sch tmr.
but am i willing to make my move out of the hse?
kinda lazy..
having to get presentation done,
PBL, u sux to the core of my poly life.
you know something?
in time, pple dont change.
they just reveal more of themselves to you.
i have seen many come and go.
i dont want to see my love go anymore.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:39 PM| |

__________

:Wednesday, November 02, 2005:

dear readers beware.
i have an aunt who is a travel agent and is working at fareast.
her shop's name is called Cupid Travels.
beware.
she maybe friendly infront of you
but at the back,
a devil with fucking long tails.
she is my aunt and she was suppoes to get our seats down for the trip.
when i was working for her,
i dont liker her attitude already,
bitching abt my relatives behind their back
but i will did was to keep quiet.

now, i will not take it anymore.
dont go to cupid travels to book your seats.
dont go to cupid travels to make any bookings.
she lost all our seats for the trip.
we could have gone on that flight and make this trip.
thanks to you, bitch.
u lost our tickets.
we are not going to buy tickets from her anymore.
although she is my aunt,
so what?
big fuck?

we will give our money to someone else.
my mother is pissed, my godfather and godmother is pissed.
you must issue our tickets before a deadline,
and now, u lost all out tickets.
that bangkok trip was suppose to be for my gram's 50th anniversary present from my mother and godfather.
now, thanks to u fucking bitch,
we lost all our tickets.
for this,
i will hate you.
we got our hotels done already
its suppose to be all the grand hotels
i will fucking make you pay if this fails.
and now, thanks to u.
fuck u bitch.
we will give our money to someone else.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:10 PM| |

__________

::

the song ringing in my mind
tot of the shitty stuffs that i did yesterday.
sorry for mia-ing pple...
didnt mean too, was in no mood lately.
feel like changing my blogg
but then again,
lazy to tell pple that i have moved

been sitting at home doing nothing today
of course listening to media player.
been repeating and repeating.
hope that i will be able to step out of the house tmr.
until i get over you.
thats the way its gonna be,
until i get over you.

been looking at my cell lately
seriously, alot of msges has been coming in.
but have not been replying any
i guess you know why too.
the sky's getting dark,
its gonna rain.

godma's birthday is on sat.
*looks at wallet*
sighs..will have to get her something..
ha ha..
not sure what to get her after all
diamond?
way out of budget

and for god's sake,
shawn, u fatty lard,
please change yr msn nick.
you are not hot. gays dont ogle at you.
yr so fat who likes you?
gross, remember this phrase.
be friends with anyone, except an outcast.
shawn, in class, desmond and you are the outcast.
*class agreed*

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 6:50 PM| |

__________

::

got back from cartel. kinda late.
didnt want to come back so early.
gazed at the sky, then u appearred.
i was happily drinking my way.
why do you have to appear?
thanks to my friends who had to tell on me.

i dont want to see you today.
but you had to appear.
jacy told me not to be in a relationship now.
maybe she is right.
but can i stay that way forever.
i am wasting my life like that.

i feel so0 down, so lost.
why crap and fill my blog with my pain and sorrows.
its times like this when i want to end everything.
now there is inter-class (friends) problems.
problems after problems come for me.
smoking and drinking
smoking and drinking.
why do u have to send me all the way home.
why do u have to make me feel this way.
i want to forget you, but u keep appearing.

no more you.
i'm just left with me.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:32 AM| |

__________

:Tuesday, November 01, 2005:

the 'closeness' of a family.
will be attending this family thing tonight which is with my dad's side of the family.
we are not close. its a really screwed up side of the family.
sometimes, i wont even call it family.
i'm closer to my friends then to them.
why do i loaf going over to meet my dad's side of the family?
but not to my mother?

the more i think of it, the more i dont like them.
they are weird.
i hope that i can last through tonight.
been thinking what i shd do these few days.
wednesday, thursday and friday.
not gng to sch.

will have to get some stuffs done,
kinda lazy..eddy wanna meet on thursday..
not sure whether i can make it..
sighs..
everything is so0 screwed..
not been in the mood to do anything
i wont really call it depression
because i am not depress.
its just that i feel so lost, confused and lousy.

one more thing. i do believe that what goes ard comes ard.
to be sadistic abit,
i'm glad that u are feeling the way i am feeling when you did that to me.
i dont care much about you anymore.
i feelings for you has died and passed the heavens.
the sound of your name disgust me more and more.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 2:30 PM| |

__________