:Tuesday, August 30, 2005:

my hols are coming
and mum's leaving for hongkong with grams
hmm...
that means,

i get to
hang out late,
party more..
after all the hols are here to stay.
cant wait to go to bangkok
it like a shopping galore aka haven for ppl like me
all the clothes and i can get my hair done.

everyone's craving for bangkok..
feeling tired today
i'm almost like typing with my eyes close
after UT tmr, zizi and i will be leaving
gng back to sec sch.
i'm different ba
i get to go in early..

then will be meetin dear da jie, dear da sao, bobo zach deari and ultimate bobo
in town.. time for old chang kee
hahah..
got to go slp soon
i dont wanna be a panda
and still have to wake up to watch CSI later..
its going to be exciting..
hahah~

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 7:08 PM| |

__________

::

whats the difference between frens and buds

as what da jie told me.
frens u can have alot but whats the use?
would you rather have 1 or 2 close buds then a million frenz
that dont understand you or what you are going through?

i'm happy.
yes.
i can say that now.
if you ask me whether i am ' xing fu'?
i can tell u no in the pass but yes now.
the reason is simple
i am happy.
i'm happy with my closest buds

will be meeting da jie, da sao and bobo zach tmr
bobo jia jia called me bobo benji ..
ha ha.
the whole world is coming to a bobo end soon..
there are bobos everywhere!
argh!

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:26 AM| |

__________

:Monday, August 29, 2005:

^ despo guy and me ^

I received this msg
it states this guy aged abt 20+

so he msged me:

'hey dear, been viewing your profile for quite some time. you look great'
'would want to get to know you'
'ok?'

and i replied:

' ...hi, thanks. my profile? how long? '

so he asked:

'what's your msn? wanna meet up? mayb we could get something going'
'I dont mind being with someone like you now'

and i said:
' ...meet up..see how lor..get something going? as in? '

he found my blog and added me in msn he msg me almost instantly
but i replied him slowly..
we talked for awhile then he asked

'dear, wanna get into a relationship?'
'i really want you now'

i didnt reply him much
i disappeared offline after awhile.
the so-short lived despo guy and me
please dont come shitting all over me
Literal SHIT you back
amen

Benji


| Stripped and Lusted 10:30 AM| |

__________

::

been going through a tough time.
i'm changed.
not that strong and not that weak
awaken i am
but fear has lingered in me for too long
i cant see myself clearly for long
everything in my life is blurred

i'm not who i used to be
for the better or worst
its not for me to decide
its up to you to make my day now
to let me live a life less ordinary.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:11 AM| |

__________

:Sunday, August 28, 2005:

just woke up..
its been long since i actually woke up this late
ard 12, well there are stuffs on my mind.

if you dont think that a person like me has problems
well, then all i can say is that my closes buds can see it
and the rest cant.

some ppl say that i am direct
and being direct in everyway
in my words, expressions
well, i am like this.
sort of i dont actually care about what others think
or feel.
but as long as yr close to me,
all i can say is that you will feel different

this shows how many people understands me.
i'm confirmed that my parents do not.

well, had din tai fung and spageddies on thursday at paragon.
damn my stomach is filled with rich food.
go to work out soon
just look at the tiramisu cake

the layer of cream
and amount of carbo
fats, etc..
pui*


o, and didi's all red like a lobster..
after sun tan,
we met up with benji, didi and eugene
didnt wanna talk much abt yesterday's stuffs

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:30 AM| |

__________

:Saturday, August 27, 2005:

why cant i talk to my parents
or to any of my relatives
the reason is simple..
i cant open up to them

schs frm monday to friday.
i get the saturdays off...
whats fuckin wrong with that
muz got to watch a show with benji and zach
my cell's ringin like shit..
i need my space
u have to understand that aint that small after all
face it..
i live my life, not you..

i had to leave in the middle of the show
just to please you..
but all u ppl care is how u feel..
have u ever tot how I will feel
i have my life
i need my frens

its just that i'm all kept up inside that i cant take it much sooner
when kenn was ard
i used to talk to him abt everything..
but now..
who will be the next one
who will be with me to walk the journey..
am i that alone in it,
till the day that i can bearly take no more

yes, i need to be loved.
and i want to love.
but now..

*i cant bring myself to type anymore*

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:57 PM| |

__________

::

confessions of a rising soul..

dad's out of hospital already..
had to rush to Mt.Elizabeth this morning in the morning to get all the paper work done...
godma came pick us up and i'm at my grams now..
will be gng out tonight..hope then...
liquid room...its a saturday..

there is like nothing much to blogg these days
sch's comin to an end
we're changing classes soon
well, mayb its a good thing then

please dunn get stalked by someone
its freaky.. so happened that the guy that stalked zach back all the way to his hse is in RP..
damn him..so what if ur a bi.
impressions changed
not the same
yup..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 1:02 PM| |

__________

:Friday, August 26, 2005:

dad's in hospital..somethings abt apendix or wateva its spelt..
rush to mt Elizabeth 3 times today...
got back late like..hmm....12+ today..

went to meet da jie and the rest
had sakae sushi for "dinner"...
hmm...well, becoz da jie had to eat her sotong balls...
being as it round and cubby..
juz like a small lil pussy cat...

* innocent look *....

hahah...cannot make it lar...
will have to buy more sotong ball for da jie on sat..
she juz loves it..
and da sao..
dunn jealous lar..
okok,
hmm...
da sao loves to watch the stairway to heaven show..
so she can cry and cry like someone died like that..
ahah...come jio me only becoz of vcd..
damn i'm cheap...
*bleah*
hahah...

k then, see u all on sat lar..
and plz...stop smoking so much already lar..
puff and puff like a choo choo train...
hahah...

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:28 AM| |

__________

:Thursday, August 25, 2005:

a life less ordinary.

coming to think back on what i have done in the past and now,
it just seem to get so full..
i feel so confused and drained..
too tired to think..to do stuffs anymore..
each time i try to slp,
they just keep comin back..

i just wanna thank da jie for being there yesterday night..
lets just say that if she didnt talk to me yesterday night,
erm..i wouldnt be typing this..
not that i will go and die or anything..
but well, its just that i cant bring myself to cry it over the phone then..
its not me to do that, da jie..

after listening to this song on my blog,
dont feel, dont cry, dont tear?
its everything in me
being happy? whats that?
i lost that 14 years ago..da jie knows that..
well, potraitin a pic of myself in happiness is nothing more than a bluff to myself,
comin back to a life less ordinary
bringing back the past to me again
i tried telling whats in me to da jie..
didnt help..its just not me to do that..
14 years of me was kept in slience and i had to take everything that comes to me..
all the crap, hurt and shit..

cant you see the reason why i keep hanging out with da jie and the rest?
i feel that i can understand them and they or she,
can understand me..we are of different worlds..
each time we meet,
i just feel so ... great...
i love her..even more then my real sis..
she is just someone i can talk to..
and i bearly met her for 3 weeks,
and all these things happened...
her best bud.. fabian and zach, now this..
its all been so dramatic..
just feel like drowning myself in alcohol and be done with it

each time i got suan by her..
the laugher we had..
think on that...
am i ready to give that all up?
my answer stays firm to a no..
da jie, thanks to you..i love you
thanks for standing by me..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:49 AM| |

__________

:Tuesday, August 23, 2005:

been sleepin alot lately..
hmm...
mayb its a good thing right?
getting rid of my headaches...

argh...
i vow that i wanna put on weight already..
ya..read it..."put on weight"
will be having last module test tmr..
all 14 chapts..
gng study later...

and have to wake up early tmr...
been like reachin sch late for the past week..
module test starts at 8.30 tmr..
gonna make it for sch early?

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 7:57 PM| |

__________

:Monday, August 22, 2005:

juz finished essay..
damn its the death of me lar..
not easy to write on that topic..
stress is building but thank god sch's closing for hols..

dear's having tests and projects comin up..
stressed too..

everything is still coming up to the word "stressed"
haha..

had headache juz now..
reached home and slp like there is no tmr..
hahah..
its much better now..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:26 PM| |

__________

::

school's coming to an end soon..
well, lets say that it will be a good thing..
being able to take a break from everything..

been tired lately..
headaches are coming back..
haunts haunts..
lets juz hope that everything in my life goes smoothly ya..
i dunn wanna remember anything in the past..

so dunn make me remember..
yawns*
thinking abt myself makes me unsure too..

"i'm killing i'm killing..."

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 1:05 PM| |

__________

:Sunday, August 21, 2005:

the saturday didnt turn out as planned..
but still got to watch the maid today..
hahah..yup..its scary..
today was a special day..
relatively special one..

went to the esplanade to meet some friends..
went drinking.. nice ambience there..
kinda nice staying there..
music + alcohol + special people = fun and dunn wanna leave that place..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:30 AM| |

__________

:Friday, August 19, 2005:

been moody lately..
i need a change of mood already...
sparks in my life?
or rotting alone on this rotting world?

i dunno what to blog...
and shuyi likes joseph tan..
lala land..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:30 PM| |

__________

::

nv judge a book by its cover..
that is something that i need to start remembering..
people are not who they seem or say to be...
its time to start showing some colors of mine already..

don't take me for granted..
who do u all think i am...
i may look ok, but apparently,
thinking otherwise..
i'm sick of hiding..
sick of accepting all the lame excuses u people give..

its not the first or the 2nd time..
2 hands are not even enough..
there is no committment at all,
and therefore, i will not waste my time on u all anymore..
period.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:33 AM| |

__________

:Thursday, August 18, 2005:

who says that status in this world is not important..
all kinds of different status in a person is important..
money status, social status..even yr status in yr friends mind abt you..
its juz that they dunn realize that they mean so much to you..
and to them, yr nothing more than just grass..

i hope that my views will change..
i have friends that i can trust and believe in..
the rest? are not friends..they are juz crap..
esp the plastics,
and pplz who think so highly of themselves..
keep thinking that they are rite when we told him a thousand times that it is not..

i'm reli afraid of magick now..
the way ppl view it..
as a toy to get back at..
i;ve not been touching that for a long time since kenn started..
is it time to start again?
i'm not sure..

its not to curse to get rid of yr pain..
don't do it on impluse..
it will just come back and hurt you..
after all, what comes ard, goes ard..

a sentence of advice:
"don't confuse the confuse, until the confuse confuses you"
Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 2:45 PM| |

__________

:Wednesday, August 17, 2005:

things are getting back on track..
lets hope that it will stay the same from now on..
school is coming to an end already..
2 more weeks and sem ends..
bye to all peeps from PS0102 then..

i was jamie's model today..
dotx...went to taka british india to try out some clothes..
she needed someone to put clothes on so she jio me out..

kinda lazy and tired...
but well, it was awhile only..
after that rushed back from to slp..

what will happen to me tmr?
what will happen to me in the further?
kinda lost and insecure of myself..
mayb its juz faithed that i have to be like this now..
i cant explain anything..
lost in translation..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:20 PM| |

__________

:Tuesday, August 16, 2005:

blank...
tired and done with..
i jus wanna help my friends that i noe that is close to me..
to get rid of their problems..
can i do that?
i'm trying..

whats wrong with toking to a girl in my class everyday?
whats wrong with me being able to tok to her?
whats wrong with having meer friendship with her?
whats wrong with you people getting jealous over nothing?
whats wrong with you people getting lame and nonsencial in class over this?
whats wrong with me toking to her and not to you?
at least i found someone that i can tok things too..
whats wrong with doing all these things?
whats wrong with 17 to 18 years of education in yr mind?
R u that fucking screwed up in yr heads to think this way after the many years of education?
go think over that.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:59 PM| |

__________

::

y is my life getting from bad to worst?
and why does all the fuckers, bitches, bastards and sluts come from PS 0102?

something to leave me thinking..
something that cannot be seen on the outside,
but felt on the inside...
i'm too tired to take anymore nonsense..
beat it..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 3:47 PM| |

__________

:Monday, August 15, 2005:

been sneezing alot lately...
its either that there are people talking abt me or that
i'm so gng to fall sick...
which i cant afford right now..
stay strong benji..
dotx...

was toking to sis juz now...
damn sia..i found my match...
if you think that i can suan well,
then u are wrong...
now its my turn kanna suan by her lar!
hahah...

realized that rach could be a bit cuckoo at times too..
like trying to press the intercom button at the ticketing machine at PS..
hahah...and it will be her bday tmr...
time to go club...
tmr will also be my cuz's bday..
both on the same day?
i think i shd intro them together...
hahah...
great ideas?

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:39 PM| |

__________

:Sunday, August 14, 2005:

finally got zach and fabian to gimme the pic lar..
aiyo..so diff sia...

haha...ting got this pic of zach singing...
this is the song..lalalala..elmo song...

beloved sis and bro together...


| Stripped and Lusted 10:25 PM| |

__________

::

got the photos frm sis already..
yup..thats me and dearest sis...
wait, where is BoBO?
dotx..
zach, i'm still waiting for yr pic with fabian..
hahah...

ting took this pic and so i was so not thinking rite
and, well, that was wat happened...
hahah...i so loved the eyes...

it was a rather flashy night...
there were camera flashes coming frm every corner from the room lar!
haha...gng to get blind soon..
ting took this pic when i wasnt aware...
and she is a pro paparazzi sia...

dunn ask me abt the spastic look but its also thks to
BobO's ultra auntie specs and i took this photo...
so gross!!
kanna force to take becoz sis and ting wanna take it...
blah*hahah..

hey, the specs is reli auntie ok...look at that...
*ahem* bObO..r u reading this???

sis and i...great with hugs...
she is one great person to talk to...
no..actually all of them are great peeper to talk to..
hahah..

the mess we made for party world peeps..
but hey~
we cleared it up...

as u already noe..
had lil drinks that night already...
took cab back with dom and daryl...
it was getting late...

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 4:33 PM| |

__________

::

just got back frm party world..
went with sis, ting, zach, fabian, *ahem* jia jia aka bobo..hahah..
got some of these pics...the rest wait till sis send me..
bought some illegal food in there..yup..
hungry now...regretted again, not eating..
*blah*

had a couple of drinks..
control already lar...
today was much better then the last..
hahah..


had to come back 'early' today becoz ting mum dunn allow..
got moi moi coming already...
haha...dotx..
as for me, its also the same becoz i was gng back to my grams..
*blah*
and was sort of tired...
could be the lack of slp...
but i enjoyed my time outside..

got a pic of my hair...again...dotx...
but i think it looks better now,
then the past...
welcome to the whole new me now..
the benji has made a pass and appeared new..
i hope..
harhar...dotx..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:12 AM| |

__________

:Saturday, August 13, 2005:

time is passing very fast lately..
been slpin late the past few nights..
waking up late...causing me to lose almost 1/2 the day to nothing..

i wanna watch the maid..any takers?
some shows that i watched already

wedding crashers
land of the dead
bewitched
charlie and the chocolate factory

and the show that i wanna watch is

the maid

yup..been feeling alil' weird lately..
having no mood to do anything...
its all coming back to me again i guess..
mayb its becoz i reli need someone to save me..
and just nice, fits the song for my blog..
i'm drifting..further and further away...

hanging out with my usual people in my life
that makes an impression..
sister,ting, zach, fabian etc...
heaven noes what will happen to me again..
i tot i had it figured out but it came and turn my whole world upside down..
save me, save me from all these rage..
i just wanna be with the people whom care and i care for now..
i'm not asking for anymore..

to the people out there,
u know who u r..
respect my decision..
its me after all...
u cant do anything but accept it then..
its better that we be friends and stay friends..

dunn go into depression benji..
there is a way out..stay close to family..
yup..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 2:31 PM| |

__________

:Friday, August 12, 2005:

juz came back frm the food tasting at the regent hotel..
it was ok..realized how grand it was...
harhar...
got back quite late and had to pack for camp tmr which i
sort of so dunn wanna go after what has happened..
but i have no choice..

to see how ppl change so much in a short period of time is reli shocking to me...
to have pplz telling u that they still like me and have a crush on me and anything,
it juz that i wanna make things clear here..
so avoid receiving some unknown kisses and hugs,

i do not wish to get into a relationship now..
lets juz stay frenz,
if u cant stay as frenz with me,
then i suggest u stay far far away frm me,
and dunn see me..

my eyes are closing already...
argh...dunn think too much..slp slp..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:03 AM| |

__________

:Thursday, August 11, 2005:

getting home time is getting later everyday..
went to zach's hse for bbq yesterday...
had sort of a reflection talk yesterday with da jie's fren..
makes me feel how lucky i am but..
da jie helped me call a cab...
reached hm at ard 1am..

and just nice, someone called..
and still remembered abt me..
but as i said..enough is enough...
kenneth, go, go there and start anew..

got to thank dajie, fabian and zach for being concern yesterday night..
but somthings are still difficult to say out..
bear with me..
freakin tired now..
lets hope that i dunn fall asleep in class..
juz keep listening to mp3s then..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:46 AM| |

__________

:Monday, August 08, 2005:

juz finished watching movie..
been watching alot of shows lately...
got to save money..
but somehow, i cant...
saw this really nice shirt at newurbanmale today...
wanted to get it..

called zach's sis juz now...
the bbq on wednesday...
i think i'll be gng...
been feeling bad these days..
it seems that the days are becoming harder to pass..

my headaches are back..
something is ringing in my mind...
i'm trying so hard to get rid of it..
to be able to have my peaceful nights again..
i dunn wanna dream anymore..
i juz want to be able to slp properly again..

stay strong benji..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:42 PM| |

__________

::

slpt late ard 2+..
its getting worst..
woke up abt 7 +...
went back to sec sch..
well, the comments were that i look different...

saw some of my students..
wells, who gives a damn anyway...
went out with dom and his dear,
but then zhao to have dimsum with grams, sis and aunts..
they went shopping for their gowns..
i got my suit already so its done with..

not sure whether gng to zach's place on wed..
his sister invited...but after what happ..
i dunno..
confirm again then..
lets hope that everyone is ok..

i'm ok, getting on with my life..
thks to the new peeps i meant...
some how, its easier talking to them then to my RP frenz..
somethings wrong..
there are so things that i cant say out..
and i think they know why..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 4:01 PM| |

__________

:Sunday, August 07, 2005:

something happened..
its not a good thing..
someone tried to take her life..
apparently, we were the last 6 ppl to be with her i think,

its gng to be difficult i think..
i dunn think i wanna tok abt it now..
have not been in a reli good mood after hearing what happened..
so go figure it out..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 8:35 PM| |

__________

::

went drinking last night..
at the marituis mandarin on the 38th floor...
went with 7 ppl..
dajie lemme try civas on the rocks yesterday...
haha..game lor...
and quite a no of drinks..
it test-tubes..i think that the name is called,
blue rendevous..it came in test-tubes..
sat ard and chatted..till abt 12...
shared cab with benji and reach hm like 12.30...
dajie say wait moi moi come out already..
haha..damn funny..
i think of moi moi were to come out, it will be on friday already ba...

benji and i went to watch land of the dead...
not bad lar...
its juz that the show is all in darkness till the end where there is daylight..
yea..
hope that zach bro is ok man...something seems wrong...
but happy that he is finally happy to find someone he loves so much le...
the two of u will last..
yea...

benji

| Stripped and Lusted 1:17 PM| |

__________

:Saturday, August 06, 2005:

jus got back frm PS...
woohoo..look at the time..
went to catch a show with zach, his stead and benji..
wedding crashers..haha...well, er...
the show ok lar...some funny sences and some cold ones..
blah*...
after that went to drink at somewhere outside PS with zach's sisters...
zach sister know the place...so went drink there...

then..ahem* many things happened...haha..
kaoz...this couple nv give up one lar...
say and say frm b4 movie until after movie until drink also saying..
wahahah...double bomb...
then i was pulled by benji to meet bonson..
argh u...fierce sia..haha..

so we sat and talked...hah..it was great company..
need to thk zach's sis for paying for my carona extra..
next time my turn le ...
and hor...
ahem* i dunno who looking at my blog le ya...
benji...fabian..haha..changed my blogskin already...

well, it was great company...
but...came back...7 month...
cannot come back so late...
nag nag nag* blah

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:05 AM| |

__________

:Friday, August 05, 2005:

.: envy :.

Whats with people and money these days..
money is the one thing that people need in order to survive these days..
and i do not have much on me ok..
so stop saying that i'm rich..
yes that my grams is one of the directors at the Gallery Evason Hotel..
yes that i love going to Liquid Room which is just next door..
yes that my aunt owns a travel agency that i get better rates...
yes that my card has 4 digits in it..
so what? does all this matter to u all?

this is my life..
and if u think that it's easy living it..
y dunn u try living it..
its hard each day gng to sch facing u peeps already..
some know and some doesnt..
all i need are those few that understands me..
coming to me as a fren for money?
thats out of the question.
fullstop.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:02 AM| |

__________

:Thursday, August 04, 2005:

.: confessions :.

went town after sch with some of my classmates..
opened up to some of them..
had a talk abt me..
well, at least they understood..
did shopping..but..cannot make it lar..
all i got was this tee...
not damn happy...

got this new blogskin but kinda dunn fit my mood..
like there is nothing that fit my mood..
well, at least that i feel better talking things out after awhile..

may go out tmr again...
see if can le lar...
dunn wanna paiseh meet zach..
blah* and hope that my grams will make up her mind soon..
my time is running out for her to waste..
its not that i dunn have time for her,
its juz that i'm running out of it...

| Stripped and Lusted 11:11 PM| |

__________

::

.: my rich and famous life :.

got some pics taken juz now..
james took it..
blardy candid...

anyway, class was boring today..
i was on msn and listening to music all the wat throughout the presentation..
its not good...
but everyone is doing that..
everyone..so i got influenced..
ok fine...



will be gng down town later with farhana and the rest..
its like that is the only way i can try to be happy again..damn..
where is my someone when needed most..
i'm praying that there is a day where our dreams will come true le..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 4:40 PM| |

__________

::

.: darken :.

as the sky's color turn frm bright to dull,
so is my mood and soul dampens..
wats with me and rhyming words..
dotx dotx...

it rained and my slippers got soaked in water...
thks to wearing 3/4s and a polo tee...
the slippers didnt help abit..
will be gng down town later again with farhana, shuyi etc..
i hope that they can understand me..
i'm trying to open it to them slowly yea..
n as wat zach said..slowly then..
well, lets hope that i have the courage then..

i'm having slpless nites again..
too much things on my mind..
woke up again at 1.30 am...
i juz kept turning in bed and couldnt slp..
something is happening inside me that i don't understand..
i'm damn bothered sometimes when ppl msg me on msn and sgboy too...
wats wrong with them...
dunn understand..u shd see the things they say...desperate ppl..

now, dom and my folks think that i look like yijie from that channel 8 9pm show...
at some angle...my god lar...can u all stop suan-ing me le lar...
first ppl say i got educated look...*ahem* haha...
then now got this...and got edison chen too..
sighs..
u all wanna suan, then suan awhile lar...
ha.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:46 AM| |

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:Wednesday, August 03, 2005:

.: bad bad day :.

i seriously did nothing today..
i was juz 'dried' and had to effort to do anything...
now, farhana and zizi noes abt me already..
its like i can only speak to pplz that i really trust..
god bless them man..

after sch, had to go for a meetin for the expedition thing..
was rather funny as auntie haliza was late again...
well, haliza is this fat and funny facilitator that is my team's leader..
she is damn fun to be around...
ok, the meeting ended ard 5.30pm...
farhana said that she wanted to go down town to fix her fone..
so i followed her..
and well, thks farhana..it helped alot..

i feel so much better coming out..
we were like walking frm wisma all the way pass taka on to cine and down to PS,
looking out for AJs and lesbians..haha
it was damn weird...
farhana spotted this couple holding hands and she was asking me whether it is a guy...
and we were like quarrelling abt whether IT is a HE or a SHE...
then...IT turned out to be a SHE lar..
my god..haha..it was funny laughing all the way..

went to PS and i wanted to go to S&K to get shirts..
sighs...shd i? i totally cant make up my mind...
damn...

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:57 PM| |

__________

::

.: sleepless :.

I can't slp these days...
its not abt sch or anything..
apparently, the problem lies with me...
its something personal...
i dream too many things in the past and
having having slpless nights now..
there is no link..y am i like this...
i'm too alone to tell anyone things...
its difficult for me to open up..
juz waiting for the right person i guess...
having my headache back again..
i couldnt concentrate on my test juz now..
being on my mind all day..
its difficult to pass my day..
sighs..

and to the person who keeps msging me both online and on my cellphone..
plz gimme a break.. we are not together ok...i respect that u care for me...
but no...not to that extend...no...that is my stand...

Benji..

| Stripped and Lusted 9:25 AM| |

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:Tuesday, August 02, 2005:

.: myself and i :.

decided not to go down town today after sch...
everyone left in the end and so i was lost lar...
i was clueless abt wat their plans were...
anyways...didnt wanna stay in sch...
didnt wanna go home...
sighs...the feeling for coming home is so dreadful sometimes..
can i stay over anyone's place??
but, camp is on friday..
so...yea...hope that i still can come online..
wells...

zach, yr gng to be speechless after what i have to tell u sia..
my god..
farhana and shuyi..
plz lar...he is so much better looking rite..
hahah...

i wanna go town tmr!! i wanna slack..
i need to relax...help...anyone..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 6:10 PM| |

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::

.: end :.

will be gng down to topman later...
wanna get shirts there...
may be meeting zach later in town...
but i have to go for the expedition meeting 1st..
damn...
class today is gng to be boring..
and today my dressing is damn lock cock again..
haha..well, wat to do..today is a slackin day man...

and i'm sick of desperate AJs already man..
i mean how can u say hugs and maucks and good night
and that i didnt reply or call u back u say that ur not interested me in..
first u come flirting away and now u have to say this crap?
when we are not even together?
my god..
u need a brain..
o, i forgot...u dunn have a brain to start of with..
i'm sick of wat u said..
and there is definitely no way between us..
u can try but its gone...
chao..

ok, the bitch is back..
gtg...bye..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:30 AM| |

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:Monday, August 01, 2005:

.: letdown :.

rushed down to shaw house after class today..
serene had to go this job interview there...
farhana, shuyi, hisyam A and I accompanied her there...
she didnt know how to go,
so i brought her there...
and got whacked all along the way on the 132 bus..
damn...

met zach and one of his fren and we went to watch Red Candy..
a real regret..haha...
thks to serene...last min pang sei..
the ending was really a question mark...haha..
but i want the ringtone..kinda creepy...
then thks to farhana, the two of us were laughing in the cinema..
sorry lar...we juz remembered something abt UT...
and so happened that that guy's name was something like UT..
haha..cannot lar...think abt it also laugh until peng..

after the show ended *finally...
farhana, hisyam A and shuyi left
while i left with zach and his fren..
had a lil chat with zach and called farhana...
funny sia...
no way to watch horror show and end up laughing in the end..
haha..

*btw zach, i'm not that tall after all =p

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:45 PM| |

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::

.: killing :.

VB today was killing..
my brain is going nuts..
well, we didnt have programming today but
we had freaking maths..
damn..linear equations using the comp to solve and not on paper..
ok, beat it, u r suppose to solve linear equation not using the sub and emli method and not doing it on paper..
damn..i had to take like almost 3 hrs to get the hang of the 2pit program..

my msn is killing today..
there are so many ppl tat i do not know that keeps adding me in..
aint that famous after all..
its kinda boring if coming to think of it today..
all we have to do all day is to come up with the solution and present it in class..
crap..
i hope that i will be able to solve it...
got stuck alot of times already..
hope to watch red candy..reli wanna watch it..

zach! u wanna watch...go down today le lar...
i'm dying already...have to get out of this place sooner..not later...
lets hope that i'm not the only one that is afraid of lil' jap ghost..
wahaha..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 1:30 PM| |

__________

::

.: sucks :.

juz got back my fone...
realized all my msgs are being read...
wateva..it sucks then...
mayb i shd try gng back to WhyNot...
haha...too many Ajs too lil' time..
wat the shit..i mean, if u wan my no..
then learn to say hi..
moron..god..do u have a brain?
if not, get lost, get yr ass out of my face and
stop flirting ard lar..
crap sia...

anyways..may go town with rach and the rest later to watch movie..
she wanna watch fantastic 4 but the rest wanna watch red candy..
haha..rach is scared of scary shows..
y? y? y?...are there any cures out there?
she needs to cure her illness already man..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:11 AM| |

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