:Tuesday, February 28, 2006:

I guess that some of you had read the previous entry,
and laughed so hard that 'some' fell of your chair.
but my mood has been swaying lately today.
very much i hope not affect people around me.
aye, it sucks.

getting over what the butch has been ranting,
having the choice of working where during the
holidays and also the family and stuffs.
my blog's emo? eh! where are the vamps!
watched underworld today and er..
i wanna be a vamp now. bite me bite me.
grahh..-jumps around- >.<

i wanna start flying from wall to wall.
playing old pipe organs and drinking blood
from wine glasses. wahahaha...i want. bleh..
btw, eh matt -pokes- i know that you're reading,
i watched underworld evolution already. >.<
wahahaha..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:35 PM| |

__________

::

the smallness and inmaturity of the brain.
the way people can actually think with the
mentality of a 2 year old.
Yes, as some of you may already know of this
post. Its to get rid of some things off my mind.

Lydia See Huilyn, Hello you cheebye fingering,
cock sucking, testicle bouncing, drama drag queen,
cross male dresser with the ego of glass daughter of
a bitch, stop binding your breast.
With the simple explaination:
you don't have breast to begin with.
with hair growing of your head like weeds
grow off my dumpster, get a fucking cheebye and
start fingering it.
O, my fault, i forgot. you already got a cheebye.

wanna come to my new website to buy one?
its all Great Buys at Benjis.
here's the webbie you fucking cross dresser cum
cheebye fingering, cock sucking, testicle bouncing,
shit eating, sotong juice drinking daught of a bitch,
www.Gbye.com

purchase your very own GBYE from me.
in the mean time, go fuck some wall or something.
while i go meet your ex girlfriend behind your back again?
get a fucking life you nincompoot daughter of a whore, cum
cheebye fucking bastard whose dick's so long
it reaches the twin towers.
bite me.
You barked up the wrong tree cross dresser.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:17 AM| |

__________

:Monday, February 27, 2006:

With my own contents of problems,
hearing your voice and having you irriate
me all way long makes my day.
It erasers everything in me just having you
by me. baby, its me against the world now.
and yes, you make my day everytime.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:56 PM| |

__________

:Sunday, February 26, 2006:

welcome to the bias-ness in my life.
the way things happen, the world has
changed. people that I live with are total
bastards and bitches. I hate this hatred life.
my temper is seriously on the rocks.

starting with my family. The scoldings
and naggings. Everything's pointing to me.
Just because I stand up to the adults.
Does that make me rude? Does that make me
the blacksheep? Does that make me wrong?
No, It doesn't. I can voice out what I want.

But in my family, thats wrong. Everything
an adult says or do is always right. Younger
people like us have no say. wtf! i dont agree to
this statment and therefore, I keep doing what
I have to do. I rebel, so be it. Go for your
holiday and leave me in singapore. I dont mind
it already. i guess its just getting use to the
obvious bias-ness in the family. Stop breathing
down my neck the whole day already.

Secondly, beastboy, you disappoint me.
aye, of all people today, you had to give me
attitude. i didnt expect it from you. From someone
who cared so onced I used to know. Will the messages
remain with the simple good mornings? is that how
its gonna end? i don't know. you tell me.
All the Vamps out there. Come out Come out
whereever you are.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:34 PM| |

__________

:Saturday, February 25, 2006:

so here I am,
blasting loud club music in my room.
ringing and disturbing every neighbour
around me. But look at me.
Do i care. I can't be bothered with the
society around me, The way things are
done, and the way i'm being ruled.

I rebel. Therefore I am.
I hate my parents. I hate my family.
I hate this house i live in.
I'm waiting for the time to walk flat out
on my family. Being able to not call them
family anymore. After all, i'm the
Blacksheep. Everyone's bias against
someone like me. I'm the worst
grandson, brother, cousin, son anyone
can look up to. I have my pride and will
not let people and gossips that they bitch
get me down.
Therefore, i am and i rebel.

Try stopping me. I cant be stopped.
because i chose not to. In life, you choose.
you choose to follow the system.
you choose to let people get you down.
you choose to stand up for your rights.
therefore, i chose my path and not let
people push me down.
My parents are nothing more then
tools used in life.
They feed me, house me, shit on me
and i'll let them rot to old age.

i'm used to being alone. my parents are
nothing to me. my family is nothing to me.
therefore, the top piority in life is to
fucking get jiggy with my peeps.
bring on my clubbing days with the
countless hours of nights out for the
vampires to feed. bite me.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 6:48 PM| |

__________

:Friday, February 24, 2006:

Stating by the fact that i have weirdos surrounding me.
the simple white liar can be unviled so easily like
they never told a liar in their entire life. the freaks
that remain anti-social and the poor breeds of humans
that remain so arrogant thinking they own the world.
don't forget the social class that you belong to.
it gives you the right to do only certain things in life.
Everything, everyones so fake. The things people say.
To believe or not to believe? The word 'trust'
has been insulted.

did i mention, 'Only certain things'? i hope i did.
dont compare your miserable low life dump living
social class to somewhat like mine. you're merely
comparing a rock to a diamond. do yourself a favor
by stop degrading your life value any low than a rock.
did i also mention that you are the rock? oh ya, i left
that out did i? having comiNg from a low life dump yard
to having to high male alter-ego.
don't even bring females that act as thought they have
male ego. three words. cannot make it.

do the world a favor for drags. stop cross dressing.
having the utter most uncivilized manners and
judging from the people that one hanGs with,
tells alot from the inmaturity and ultimately
the brain size. I can tell that people with small head
size Definitely have small brain size.
having nothing but testicle juice (some might call it)
running through the brain which thinks of nothing
but sex and scandals.
oh, did i mention that sex comes with looks?

i guess that you're too poor to have mirrors at home.
having to use the reflection from an old milo tin can,
to style the utter most horrid hairstyle you can come with.
the hair sucks.the looks (dont evEn mention).
the vocals cannot make it and therefore,
your product value is
= worthless.
no guy or girl will want someone like you.

so stop acting all 'hot' thinking as thought the whole
world has to bow down to you're most beauty.
no one wants a loser as a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
so, i guess one can stop having the idea of having
sex in their life time. So my mood sways when i'm
sick. enough of it? its just the start.

(To know the person, find the cap letters and pitch them together)
(Tag the name in my tagboard to win a prize!) -.-

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:43 AM| |

__________

:Thursday, February 23, 2006:

trying not to think of the past
or things that happened in the past is
somewhat impossible. Although a word
of mouth by saying that I will not think
of it is utter bullshit. we're all humans.
who we trying to kid here?

the past, our ex(es), our life and yes,
our family. The way people treat you.
The way things work around you.
I guess that in this LIFETIME,
i wont be able to forget. But i have
someone with me, to be there if
i needed a shoulder.

So here i am, sitting in this chair,
typing for my blog, coughing and blowing
my nose. darn. when will this flu go.
this shows that we arnt as strong as we
used to be or think. But who are we?
that same covered mask everyones wearing?
nothing can be written out in black or white.
we can show who we really are.

but no matter how hard i try. I cannot
stop thinking about it. I need you. I want you.
But im afraid that things wont turn out the
way you expected things to be. Its all gonna
be my fault again. I wanna hear you breathe.
the smiles and tears that flow from your eyes.
i guess baby, i'm empty.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:58 PM| |

__________

:Tuesday, February 21, 2006:

you're just so beautiful to me.
but i'm looking like trash and you're looking like class.
I can't so describe how i'm feeling deep inside.
but in this life time, i dont know if i'm
the one for you in this life.
aye. Can't you hear my voice calling your name.

i'm trying so hard not to look in your eyes.
There's so much more i want to say.
Aint giving me the chance to say,
someone looking like trash cannot be
compared with someone up in class.
maybe tonight, its the time that i can
hear you breathe, with tears in your eyes.

I don't wanna hurt anyone anymore.
Not in this lifetime. do you know why baby?
its because you're just so beautiful to me.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:23 PM| |

__________

:Monday, February 20, 2006:

to play or to be played. to be or not to be. to cherish or not to cherish.
having the song by Mariah playing on my mp3 all the way home.
Can't Take That Away. aye, I guess that one cannot listen to the song
so much till the extend of wanting to give up and MIA-ing for awhile.
There's no one to face and everyone's disappointed with me.

Getting hurt or causing hurt to the people around me doesn't matter
anymore. Its time I wake up and not give a shit to the people around me.
After all, i'm being stampled on like grass all the while. People take me
for nothing. Being nice isn't an option now ain't it? Having to a friend that
one's only playing in a relationship but then falls deeply for the person.
what a hypocrite.

But the bad ones are the one that starts the rumors.
I won't let bitches get me down nor will i get pushed over by it.
That i promise.
Its time that someone has to wake up and stop being weird.
Stop having flings and stop flirting already. aye..
Once bitten Twice Shy. familiar?
Who i belong to doesn't matter anymore.

Breakups are part of life. Moving on shows the determination.
For people like me, I don't think i have any of those.
Till pendora box opens, i'll be lying here silently in the night,
praying for all those out there like me. But i guess that
trust isn't a word to use anymore. ayee.
Lyin in the silent night waiting for someone to prove me wrong.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:56 PM| |

__________

:Sunday, February 19, 2006:

Having to undercover the truth of somethings that you would have never
wanted to know in the first place. The colors of those that you though you
knew and were wrong.
The things people can say around you to make you feel so good sounding
with importance in life.
But in actualy fact, you're nothing more and a tool used to benefit them in
everyway. My life isn't a drama show. Its the people around me that make
it sound and look like one.
The climbs and the fall of my life. Similar?
aye, sometimes, I wonder what i actually to some people,
and i doubt what they actually are to me. No doubt about that.

I guess I do know who I can keep and who i can chase away.
The rage is on and its not going to be a nicer me from then on.
Attitudes changed, colors shown, you're nothing more then a drag
queen having different dressings of either sexes. The mask that we
all wear, protraiting who we really are not. Having to play with someone
or be played in a relationship or life has the ability to make that person
drown themselves with alcohol to hard that they regretted living or having
the taste of a 750ml bottle of dettol running down their throats.

Wondering whether the mask that people are protraiting happens to be the
better half or the unexpected dreadful half. Having to creak a smile to people
that are desperately trying to spike you in everyway they can. Thinking that
they cannot succeed with their comments or words. But knowning in your heart
that they have beaten you hands down. The forces of death can just push me in
all direction now and i'm starting to believe in my fate and doubt my faith.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 3:02 PM| |

__________

:Saturday, February 18, 2006:

ever wondered why old folks can be such bitches?
aye, i bang myself a thousand times to get the answer.
sometimes, the things they say make total sense,
but when it comes to aunty rose or uncle bust my balls
visiting or something, the mood swings like pendelum
and the stock market flucuate like a yoyo.
everything doesnt make a single cent. no wait. sense.

parents are therefore, known as fuckers.
we don't understand them and yet they try so hard to act
like they understand us taking as though reading the
lastest version of readers digest or something.
aye, morons. having us to take the lead from you.
you're gotta be kidding me aye?

today's house cooling. loads of unwanted people coming.
i dont have a choice to creak my smile saying,
"what the fuck you want"
-pause-
just kidding. its more of something like
"hi, welcome to my planet, NABOO"
you're damn lucky i didnt say CHEEBYE or LAN JiAo.

now i realize my life aint anything.
my secondary school life was nothing but fun in school
and naggings at home. its the usual,
i take my test. i fail my test. i get scolded.
it repeats everytime.
recalled that i only pass chinese with a C5,
and failed the rest with a F9. yea, read it
F9 with the rest.
therefore, i conclude i'm _____________
(fill in whatever you want about me and leave it in my tagboard)

did i mention that my family's bais against me?
aaye, i'm suppose to work during my hols cause everyone's
nagging at me to work instead of spending my time walking
the streets of orchard. whats with them and orchard?
and there is my cousin leaving on a jet plan to the place
i desperately wanna go. Eastern Europe, with history so deep
enough to drown the living life outta me.
everyone's gone, and i'm here, slogging my dreadful life.
therefore, i conclude i'm _____________
(fill in whatever you want about me and leave it in my tagboard)

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:35 PM| |

__________

:Thursday, February 16, 2006:

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:55 AM| |

__________

:Tuesday, February 14, 2006:

i received a bag of stuffs today in the morning.
a friend passed it to me not knowing what's inside.
i was kept in the dark.
i didnt look at it till quite late.
i thought that i knew who it was from.

i was wrong until i opened the card.
i read it and well, yea, its me.
its just me. guilty to hell.
nail me to my cross and lemme die there
without anyone standing looking up at me.
for the record, i wasnt two timing.

i'm not worth it. so fucking not worth a fuck.
i'm guilty. i'll be alone all my life.
yes, i cannot forget the past. who can?
i guess i'll just blast my radio and hide under my
blanket till the storm passes.
dig a hole in the ground.
face my head in and bury it.
kick my face a thousand times.
smack my arse to hell.
benji, you're the arse. fuck off.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:18 AM| |

__________

:Monday, February 13, 2006:

tossing and turning in bed last night again.
whats with the normal symptons of sleeping disorder again?
aaye. i dont know. i guess its still the things that's
constantly running through my mind.

after clubbing again makes me realize how much
my life really meant and its worth.
seeing the same people there, rawking their
stuffs on the dance floor, we're practically clones.
student by day, losers cum clubbers by night.
is this what we really are?

having to have people of 'my age' clubbing together
again, without the constant naggs by adults and parents.
having the night of a life time to realized that we're
actually missing that much at night.
aaye. we're darn missing out.

having to choose between who's a good catch and whose
not. who the hell created a 'good catch' in the first place?
what do you think we are?
fishes in the sea, swimming aimlessly just waiting
to get caught? screw that mindset.
i plan for myself, and not follow anyone else's.
my heart's like a open highway, long and aimless.
don't fall for me. i'm not worth it i guess.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:58 AM| |

__________

:Saturday, February 11, 2006:

the tiredness that strains the body.
the music that still rings in my mind.
the night that brings estasy to my mind,
which i dont want it to end.
being on my clubbing days once more.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 6:25 AM| |

__________

:Thursday, February 09, 2006:

the thoughs about life thus far over the past 18 years.
the things that i have done and of course the things that i have yet to do.
the past memories left up there in my mind.
the scars and the gaps will remain and it aint going fade.
no mask can cover up a mistake like that.

as for the past, history has already been written by us.
and looking towards the future,
the future is for us to write. the way we live it and feel it.
every difference a day makes doesnt affect us at all.
stop having the idea that everything that i do,
has to come with an intention and will benefit me or the people
around me.
because sometimes, it just isnt. i aint doing it for myself.
and you can cut the crap to think that i am doing it for you.
don't go getting all disappointed over nothing because in the end,
its not me that you want.

getting all MIA isnt running away. its just soul searching.
to wait for someone like me is just like waiting for rain in this
endless season of draught. Its not coming until the time is right.
and i dont know when the time is right.
being famous isn't what i want or what i hope to achieve.
this is just a blog. having unknown taggers coming here,
leaving verbal diarehhea everywhere is not a norm.

don't reply the tags if you dont want to.
tag it if you want to. but at least have the sensible mind of a human
to use a proper name. fancy having to talk like one knows me
so well and i am able to relate to him or her. keep wishing.
people that try to understand me and read me like a book
hasn't even gone through the cover page.
having people coming up to me saying that they know me.
er, i dont know you. so have the courtesy to say hi.
screw this.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:17 AM| |

__________

:Tuesday, February 07, 2006:

this morning, i was given 2 packages by a friend.
within these 2 packages, there were the differences and the simliarities.
Package A was pretty much okay but had a little salt in it.
while Package B was perfect that anyone could ask for. It was
just sweet enjoy. thats it.

But somehow or rather i knew my answer from the start.
I guess that it has always been inside me.
I knew what i was going through, i knew what had been happening.
Should I chose to ignore it, or let it get the better of me,
i dont know. i dont know what i will be going to do.
Having the feeling of being so hopeless. Having to know
what is going on, but not knowing what i'll be going to do.

I guess that we're not in the same boat after all.
but we're still looking at the same sky looking up.
we're at different places all over the world.
but looking up, its still the same sky, the same sun, and the same moon.
everything's the same except the places that're in.
the situations, the problems, the mood and the mind.

the soul weakens and the mind ponders.
what actually is going on nowadays?
does every action that people do comes with an intention
that has to be bad, which let people become too suspicious,
of every move either party makes.
call this paranoid or instinct?

my answer will be package A.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:41 PM| |

__________

:Monday, February 06, 2006:

i'm awake and slogging in school and my back hurts.
grahh...this is going to get the worst of me man.
having to wake up late today. yea, like damn late..
zzz..yawns. did i mention that my back still hurts.

grahh..it shuck to the mediocore of life.
wrong use of english, but i like it..wahaha...ayee.
guess i gotta ditch chilling in orchard already.
MIA for awhile. byes to orchard and all the people
that think that i will be hanging out there.

dont be mad. i'll be at home. staring at my lappy.
and the TV, and slamming my piano 56 hours a week!
wahahaah...its abnormal..
been the whacky jackass kid lately..
wahaha...aye..listening to mp3 during lessons.
dota, and not getting any work done.
thats bad..zzz

i guess its time that i have to do something about it.
but the effort doesnt come from the heart..
its just the talk. not the walks.
haha..aye..its all wrong

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:29 AM| |

__________

:Sunday, February 05, 2006:

things that i've done in the past which sucked so bad that i dont want
to remember them again. although its hard, but wells, we all know
how to get rid of it don't we?
Having memories thats come rushing back into my mind
during the wee hours of the night, causing me to wake up in
nothing else but disappointment.

my past is already the past. its deep and well,
not that pleasant. so i guess, dont bring it up.
i used to be trash in the past..rebelling fom everything.
trying to break every rule i could possibly break.
even becoming a pagan having dealings with the craft.

thats the past. now, i guess that i'll just take things coming at
me one at a time. problems are everywhere.
its whether we know how to solve them correctly or not.
getting all shitty doing nothing will not help.
feeling down and depress will not help.
stand up and go figure it out yourself.
all i can say is that, i can be there to listen.
but who will be listening to mine?

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:55 PM| |

__________

:Friday, February 03, 2006:

awoken from my deep sleep. finally being able to get up,
and face anything already. or that i hope.
the weakness of every human, which at uncontrolable urge
for feelings and emotions. having the feelings but
not the courage. thats the failure in all of us.

i cant take anymore dae -ja-vus anymore.
time will not repeat by itself. its been so long.
have the mindset to make the decision and carry on
with life. but it takes a strong mind and soul to be able to move
on. judging from one like your, i guess that its gonna be difficult.
its gonna be very difficult. and i dont want to be repeating myself
over and over again. not this dae-ja-vu. and not with
you.

i'm happy with who i have and what i am. the people around me
that supports me from falling. having to grown from a small
twig into a tree. its all thanks to them i guess.
dont ask me what will happen without them.
i guess blogging has been a rather boring account over
the past months where my life was sunken into nothing
but shit.
i'm looking like trash. face it.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:59 AM| |

__________