:Tuesday, July 18, 2006:

Nobody said it was easy and it wasn't. How words and
actions hurt like a thousand nails driving into my soul.
I've been condemned and been running in cirlces like
some lab rat, waiting for my experiment time to be up.
I've given up hope waiting for answers that I know
won't come. There's too many WHYS and too little
HOWS to help me along the way already.

I teared in the train quietly when I was on the way to
school. Having The Scientist by Coldplay on my ipod.
It just struck me after all the things that has happened
in my life and the upteen times I have said that I have
to be happy, I'm not. I've been kidding myself all the
while just to look happy. The hurts just come back even
more after I looked back on the times with the people
that I loved by my side guiding me along the way.

Things don't turn out the way we want them too.
It's all about karma and fate people. For the sky has turned
sinister to pull me down when I was climbing back up.
Please send me someone trustworthy to send my time
with. I need to relax already, giving the troubled mind
a break to let everything go. I JUST WANT TO SIT BY
THE BEACH AND CRY EVERYTHING OUT.
Nobody said it was going to be easy. It's just a shame that
we all had to part. I've made my decision and I'll stick
to it.

I'll be going back to the start now. I enjoyed my time
chilling with you online. love.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:16 PM| |

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