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:Friday, June 16, 2006:

There's seriously something wrong with me.
I get so happy at times yet depressed and down
over things so quickly. This routine happens
3 times in a day. Now someone help me.
I don't know what I should do. But all I know
is that, I don't want to be the last person to die
in this world.

Then again, why didn't I just die in Brisbane.
Wouldn't that be fine? Wouldn't that make people
feel that I'm a nuisance around them? Just simply
ranting my problems which are so self-centered.
Yet, having to know that I don't want to leave this
world alone. I don't want to be a load on people
around me already. Firstly my parents and then
I guess you can make out the rest.

I don't what I want and what I'll do. Without people
like max, doreen, lin, anavil around me. They just
know when to be there and listen to the stupid shits
I have to rant about myself. But then, for these 4
people in me, everything is limitless. I rather be the
one taking the fall for Lin in here family's missing
organs they want from here. Doreen's money issues.
And max's eyes. Eye's are the windows to the soul.
But whats the closed soul even though there's eyes?

For the two of you. Even if I'm gone, and I told you
I'll quit smoking. I'm doing just that. Not waking up
to see the morning sun the next morning or breathe
the air of the next spring. Just take care. Love.

Benji


| Stripped and Lusted 12:13 AM| |

__________



about the boy.
'benji
02may88.taurus
maxatom@hotmail.com

sitting in the dark.
in a room. facing the wall.
looking back at the past.
wearing a mask, hiding the truth.
it's time to reveal everything.

gaps left behind.
the streets were wet and the gate was locked.
so i jumped it and let you in.
with your hand around my waist.
everything could be felt again.
and i knew that you meant it.

not forgetting.
Andy
Benji
Cindy
Chu Yang
Dennis
Darren
Fyedee
Gary
James
Jeremy
Jiawei
Jimmy
Jayden
Matthew
Max
Nick
Shuhui
Sean Remiel
Trent
Wei Hao
Xiaotaizi Didi

I declare.

I declare that there are losers in life. But nothing compares to those whom spam tagboards. Cause they have nothing better to do but try to beautify other people's life by the attention they are giving.

Blessed Be,



antiquity.