:Sunday, April 30, 2006:

The days go unanswered. The cell keeps as
silent as never before and calls go blank with
each missed. Replies not received and not
bothered. And today I felt worst. Talking
to you again didn't help. I was wrong. I fell
deeper into my black hole. I was broken at
what you told me. Yet, why didn't I feel
like crying at that time?

Why did I felt more anger and hatred rather
than the emotional cry baby I used to be?
I felt used. I hid my feelings from you when
you were down. I acted strong infront knowing
i'm crack anytime soon. All you had was
relationship but I had family and a past.

I felt betrayed. I felt used. I'm that little in
your eyes. Now when I cry, no one will see me
no one will know me. You chose me to be the
you let go and I have no say in it. I'm that
small, I'm that little, I'm that meaningless.
Apparently, I ain't that something on you.
All I am is just a friend.

You chose to let me cry in my solace.
You chose to let me die in in my pain.
You chose to let me fill the dryness in
my eyes with tears. I am therefore, not
the one with you. With pressure from my
family and with this from you, I'm afraid
I will soon take no more. No more till I
am free to see whats above the clouds.

I'm trying to forget you. So let me.
My soul isn't strong enough. Yet, I
can't voice it out to you. Therefore, all
I can do is to stare into the night sky
and tear.
For baby, I mean that little. I mean that
small. My hurt and anger has gone beyond
cure from you. You're different already.
You recover too fast for me to catch up.
Your mood changes like the stock market.

People don't know how to appreciate
kindness served on a platter. You take me
for granted. You therefore, belong to the
begones. Die you outcast.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 11:49 PM| |

__________