:Sunday, March 12, 2006:

never did I say that the world revolves around me.
but I still don't like my family that much.
It depends on the people in the family. Not the whole
family, but some in it. Getting a shitty at me for no
reason. finding faults here and there. Some may
say that they're family after all. But. BUT. aye,

but so what? they know what they have done.
some people just cannot keep their mouths shut.
the things that people can say and do behind one's
back. i'm not talking about friends or peeps. i'm
referring to family. The secrets that they hide.
is this called family after all?

I have lost my respect for family a long time ago.
say that i'm rude. say that i'm -whatever-.
i can't give a shit to nuts about it. I live my life.
my rules. my lines. my call.
I only give respect to those who deserves them.
feeling hurt and betrayed in a family.
Thats nothing to me. Tell me something new.

I know where I stand now. I know who i am now.
Infront of other, parents act so kind and they
seem to forget the faud that you had with them.
I don't hide my feelings. I dont wear a fake smile.
I have removed my mask to my family and they know
who I am and what I can say or do. I don't give a shit
to status in family history. which ever came first doesn't
matter to me. everyone's equal now, except my grams.

I'm hot-tempered and get real irritated easily these
days. aye. >.< someone help me out.
before i lay here in this darken room, screaming
at the top of my voice with emo music blasting in my
room. yes, to be honest, my day sucked.
and with work and stuffs, i wanna run.
run away from everything that is happening.
having to drop everything, just to have the feel of
falling off a building with nothing but how bad
life has been all these while knowing that it will end
in an instance. Feel it.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 12:11 AM| |

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