:Wednesday, January 25, 2006:

its surprising how people feel that their problems seem more important than others.
but actually after taking a step back, and looking at it with a different view,
they come to realize that its no big deal compared to others.
no doubt, me included. having the feelings of giving and taking.
the things a desperate soul could even say, the colors that a desperate soul
could even show. If i could fight this now, it would be a better world.

Having not to prioritize time correctly and coming to pick a fight with someone,
the stomach hungers and the anger rages on. having to say the things that one
don't mean, just in the fit of anger. But after its said, feelings, attitude, impression
changes drastically. we ain't in that stylo club anymore. Having it coming from
someone you else expected to say. But on the other hand, what more can I expect?

Here i am, screaming my lungs out just trying to get to you. things arn't as easily done as
when said. The dishonesty that you can see right through me. I know that you'll find
someone. Someone that really cares. But until the heart is opened and the mind is free,
then things can really start to move on. There's no such thing as the only one.
The fairytale that we all used to once lived in has turn out differently.
some into reality and others, into nightmares. I guess that what I have been doing
all these while is what I have been doing best.

Running.

running away from fears, feelings, reality.
the list goes on. Its because of these runnings
that i'll be sleeping in this creep alone tonight.
but it doesnt make any difference. having to a life to lead without a vision.
i guess that the once so clear view I had has been clouded by
the sins that i have committed.
Pride, Greed, Envy, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony and lastly Sloth.
But now, i can only do the things that i have to do.
Having to gather my courage back to face the tide.
after all, not everything can be written down on a pen and paper.
it ain't that easy after all. Having to use a pen would meant being
permanent.


Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 10:37 PM| |

__________