:Tuesday, January 10, 2006:

at the rate that i'm going, i'm going to kill myself faster.
having to sit alone at home now, with no one to turn to
looking at the four walls of my room. nanny's gone. when will it be me?
i've been lie by my family half my life. when is it gonna end.
i'm living in my regrets my life. still sitting in the same chair, in the same room
pondering who i really am. my soul isn't searching. it's lost.

we walk out of the same door everyday, putting on a mask, covering all the
ugliness inside. all our life, the mask has been there. who are we? we don't change.
the mask changes us. having to put a good front. characters can been seen. sometimes
through the mask. it doesnt matter what the mask says or how it looks. everything comes
from inside.

its filled with the past, the present and maybe the future. but its because of this mask,
that forces and tempts the weak to change, to cause hurt and to become a part of them.
it blinds us so badly now that we don't know who we are anymore. we have come to lost
what we have been hoping and working for. this mask we wear, follows us till we die. it explains
your life.

then i come to ponder. whats mine? who i really am. we're all lost. lost in greed, lust and blinded
by the sinnest most evil. some people get out to find what they want. now, i'm trying so hard to get out. banging all four walls to be able to find a way. removing this mask, having to be able to
smile again. but is it all worth that we waste so much time finding who we are? or just live the life that we are expected to live?

to this, i pray tonight. i pray for everyone out there still coming out.
now that they sun's down, and the weather's cold and rainy, desperation sets in,
freedom's gone. thats how everything starts to get blur, and finally blinding everything.

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 1:57 PM| |

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