:Thursday, August 25, 2005:

a life less ordinary.

coming to think back on what i have done in the past and now,
it just seem to get so full..
i feel so confused and drained..
too tired to think..to do stuffs anymore..
each time i try to slp,
they just keep comin back..

i just wanna thank da jie for being there yesterday night..
lets just say that if she didnt talk to me yesterday night,
erm..i wouldnt be typing this..
not that i will go and die or anything..
but well, its just that i cant bring myself to cry it over the phone then..
its not me to do that, da jie..

after listening to this song on my blog,
dont feel, dont cry, dont tear?
its everything in me
being happy? whats that?
i lost that 14 years ago..da jie knows that..
well, potraitin a pic of myself in happiness is nothing more than a bluff to myself,
comin back to a life less ordinary
bringing back the past to me again
i tried telling whats in me to da jie..
didnt help..its just not me to do that..
14 years of me was kept in slience and i had to take everything that comes to me..
all the crap, hurt and shit..

cant you see the reason why i keep hanging out with da jie and the rest?
i feel that i can understand them and they or she,
can understand me..we are of different worlds..
each time we meet,
i just feel so ... great...
i love her..even more then my real sis..
she is just someone i can talk to..
and i bearly met her for 3 weeks,
and all these things happened...
her best bud.. fabian and zach, now this..
its all been so dramatic..
just feel like drowning myself in alcohol and be done with it

each time i got suan by her..
the laugher we had..
think on that...
am i ready to give that all up?
my answer stays firm to a no..
da jie, thanks to you..i love you
thanks for standing by me..

Benji

| Stripped and Lusted 9:49 AM| |

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