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:Friday, May 06, 2005:

Its not getting any easier..

life is hard.
its difficult to pass time.
its tiring.
Its difficult to prove yrself in society.
Its easy trying to get accused and bad mouth.
Its easy to get into trouble and not easy to get out of.
Its easy to get drunk but not easy to forget the things that happened the day before.
Its easy saying things but not doing them or carrying it out.
Its easy to forget things but not the things tat pplz do against you.
Its easy to make friends but not easy to forgive them.
Its easy to say its ok but actually its not.
Its easy to hide things but does it really go away?
Its easy to make pplz happy with a smile but are you happy?
Its easy telling pplz what to do but what are u gng to tell yrself to do?
Its easy saying and doing alot of things but actually we dunn mean what we say or we do.
Its easy trying to get the most fuck out of things but when u realize it, yr wrong.
Its easy to say things that are not true and some how get away with lying.
If you think its fucking easy to write all these shit then u r fucking wrong. If not i'm fucking wrong.
I hate this life.
Its a torture, although life is a gift frm god.
This is me.
And my life isnt tat actually perfect.
I have a past.
Which people dont see.
Its ok not toking abt it.
But it will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Its hard at first.
But its common now and i juz shut up.
People like me.
But i hate myself.
What i protrait isn't what it seems to be.
I'm different.
From the rest.
Some might say its a gift.
I say its a curse.
But it will remain with me forever.
Rich isn't the word to use.
Happy is the word i'm looking for.
Who can give that to me.
Will be my one and only true love.
But for now.
I'm still blinded.
Blinded by hate, Greed, Lust.
I'm easily pushed.
I have weakened.
I ain't that superman u use to know.
I'm just a low life trying to pass the day trying to feel happy.
Plz dunn cry my love.
Its not yr fault.
Its mine.
For all the time we have spent.
Will not go to waste.
But will be kept in the small soft delicate organ called the heart.
And that heart will be shared between you and me.
But since we have parted over vast distances.
Its impossible to be together.
But all the times we had.
Will not be forgotten.
Money is not the only important thing in life.
Being materialistic is not as important anymore.
And I want the world to know that i owe it to you.
But now since we have parted.
I cannot go back to the ways we used to be.
We cant be togther anymore.
I'm sorry.
I truly am.
Things will not be the same anymore.
I cant accept you as mine.
There are others out there for you.
And to leave my final say for you.
I will not forget you.
Truely.
Madly.
Deeply.
Forever.
I have to move on.
I have to lead my life.
And not to accomidate mine to yrs.
U cant use me anymore.
And i think its someone elses turn.
She will be out there.
When the time is right.
We will meet.
And a new life will begin for me and her.
That is the ending for a everlasting story.
The End


| Stripped and Lusted 3:50 AM| |

__________



about the boy.
'benji
02may88.taurus
maxatom@hotmail.com

sitting in the dark.
in a room. facing the wall.
looking back at the past.
wearing a mask, hiding the truth.
it's time to reveal everything.

gaps left behind.
the streets were wet and the gate was locked.
so i jumped it and let you in.
with your hand around my waist.
everything could be felt again.
and i knew that you meant it.

not forgetting.
Andy
Benji
Cindy
Chu Yang
Dennis
Darren
Fyedee
Gary
James
Jeremy
Jiawei
Jimmy
Jayden
Matthew
Max
Nick
Shuhui
Sean Remiel
Trent
Wei Hao
Xiaotaizi Didi

I declare.

I declare that there are losers in life. But nothing compares to those whom spam tagboards. Cause they have nothing better to do but try to beautify other people's life by the attention they are giving.

Blessed Be,



antiquity.